Friday, March 18, 2011
Off Grid
I am going "offline" for 48 hrs starting 9pm March 18th, 2011. I am turning off my cell phone and will not access the internet until Sunday March 20, 2011 at 9pm. If you need to contact me, you can phone my landline at: 205-656-5037.
Monday, March 7, 2011
William Farrant brought up on War Crimes charges; denies responsibility
William Farrant has been charged with the ethnic cleansing of a horde of flies. The said event occurred at 4:35 local time, March 5, 2011.
Inspector General Hans Offanlauer addressed a gathering in The Hague: "We are shocked and dismayed at the rampant violence displayed by Treehousian Forces. A total of 75 flies were slaughtered in an unprovoked and apparently random attack. Mr. Farrant has been sequestered for questioning as it is our belief he gave the final order for the attack."
Tensions between the files and the majority Treehouse population had been at an all time low prior to the attack. Peace had seemingly prevailed after years of clashes and disputes over quality of life. But in recent days, as a reporter for Treehouse Network Television claimed, "They just took over. Suddenly, everywhere, we couldn't breath. In the shower: files. On our dinner: flies. Crawling over the telephone: flies. They know their areas. Why couldn't they stick to them?"
Winged Thorax, leader of the Fly Nationalist Party and representative to the House said, in a prepared statement, that due to an increase in the available food supply, the fly population increased dramatically over a short period of time. "Tends to happen that way," said Thorax, "You could make the analogy that we 'died and went to heaven.' It's not pretty, but that's just the reality of the situation. Flies happen, man."
On an otherwise quite afternoon, Treehousian forces approached the horde at a window seal to the east of the territory. Several swift strikes of a Rolled up Magazine- the latest in arms technology- annihilated the flies. A scene of bloodshed and horror was left in its wake.
"One moment I was there with my friends. We were thrashing our bodies against the window like we always do and then "bam" we're dropping like, well, flies. Ralph and my cousin Anatole were both taken with one strike. I got away but I've lost a wing. I'll never fly again. I have eight hundred children. How am I supposed to support a family now? How? I don't know if I can carry on," said Doug Puppa, a survivor of the attack.
Winged Thorax states the Flies will regroup and reproduce, a response to the attack being inevitable. "There are a few of us left. Give us a couple of days and we'll be back. You can count on that."
In the meantime, Treehousian forces are stockpiling against a resurgence and have purchased extra magazines, deadly sprays, sticky strips of goo, and assault riffles.
With files from Reuters.
Inspector General Hans Offanlauer addressed a gathering in The Hague: "We are shocked and dismayed at the rampant violence displayed by Treehousian Forces. A total of 75 flies were slaughtered in an unprovoked and apparently random attack. Mr. Farrant has been sequestered for questioning as it is our belief he gave the final order for the attack."
Tensions between the files and the majority Treehouse population had been at an all time low prior to the attack. Peace had seemingly prevailed after years of clashes and disputes over quality of life. But in recent days, as a reporter for Treehouse Network Television claimed, "They just took over. Suddenly, everywhere, we couldn't breath. In the shower: files. On our dinner: flies. Crawling over the telephone: flies. They know their areas. Why couldn't they stick to them?"
Winged Thorax, leader of the Fly Nationalist Party and representative to the House said, in a prepared statement, that due to an increase in the available food supply, the fly population increased dramatically over a short period of time. "Tends to happen that way," said Thorax, "You could make the analogy that we 'died and went to heaven.' It's not pretty, but that's just the reality of the situation. Flies happen, man."
On an otherwise quite afternoon, Treehousian forces approached the horde at a window seal to the east of the territory. Several swift strikes of a Rolled up Magazine- the latest in arms technology- annihilated the flies. A scene of bloodshed and horror was left in its wake.
"One moment I was there with my friends. We were thrashing our bodies against the window like we always do and then "bam" we're dropping like, well, flies. Ralph and my cousin Anatole were both taken with one strike. I got away but I've lost a wing. I'll never fly again. I have eight hundred children. How am I supposed to support a family now? How? I don't know if I can carry on," said Doug Puppa, a survivor of the attack.
Winged Thorax states the Flies will regroup and reproduce, a response to the attack being inevitable. "There are a few of us left. Give us a couple of days and we'll be back. You can count on that."
In the meantime, Treehousian forces are stockpiling against a resurgence and have purchased extra magazines, deadly sprays, sticky strips of goo, and assault riffles.
With files from Reuters.
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