So, there is a Reader's Choice Award to the Geist Postcard Story contest. Aside from the Judges choices, the readers can vote too. So vote for me. I dare you to. Follow the link and vote the maximum score! Of course, you can decline this offer of free voting. Voting without a care, etc... But, it would be nice if you did, all three of you who publicly follow me- this includes myself, but I already voted; even politicians vote for themselves; reserve your judgment, please.
http://www.geist.com/postcard-story/longlist2009
Wednesday, April 28, 2010
Monday, April 26, 2010
News and Events!
Check out my story "Grizzly Bill" that was long-listed for the Geist National Literary Postcard Story contest. http://www.geist.com/postcard-story/grizzly-bill
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Homework Assignment
Assignment for the week of April 19th
Kevin Griffiths
English 12
Midlake Secondary School
1. Write a brief summary of the movie JAWS that we watched in class Monday.
Summary
The Chief of Police discovered that sharks kill. He attempted to advise the Mayor and Local Business Owners but they would have none of it. “What about Tourism,” they said?
A girl who was torn to bits while drinking at a beach party is said to have “died” in a “boating accident.” The Chief of Police was skeptical. Then a small boy was devoured in daylight at a public beach. His mother walked down the beach calling her son. She found the raft he was on shredded and bloody. That part was pretty sad, I guess.
There was a tonne of doubt shown by the Town Committee even though experts were brought in to prove that a killer shark was on the loose. Slowly, fear spread. There was a scene on a beach that showed families scattering in all directions at the site of a giant fin in the water. It turned out to be a hoax. I thought that was hilarious.
Several local fishermen arrived with hopes of being heroes. Their methods were generally unsound and unsafe. However, they did catch a shark. There was much rejoicing. People felt safe and the beaches were reopened. The Mayor and the Local Business Owners were satisfied that the threat was over.
This was decent writing on the part of the screenwriters because the “real” killer shark had not been caught and was still out there lurking. One can only assume a police inquiry would have ensued because an innocent shark had been slaughtered.
The Chief of Police eventually blows up the killer shark in a long-drawn out scene involving most of Act Three. I have to say, it was pretty cool when he stuffed that air-tank into the sharks mouth and then detonated it with a well-aimed rifle shot. Unfortunately, one of the supporting characters was lost in the battle, sliding into the killer sharks’ mouth like a sardine shortly before the climax.
The movie ends with the Chief of Police a hero, but for most people, summer was ruined.
2. Write an outline for a sequel to JAWS in five hundred words or less.
Sequel
In JAWS 12: Nature Controlled, the Chief of Police has formed a Shark Rehabilitation Task Force. His new title is Director of Correctional Services. He tracks sharks with sonar devices and arrests them. He has a horde of Lieutenants and Generals that speed out from the mother boat, which is called Shark and Destroy and registered to Panama. The sharks are subdued by taser.
The character of the Director is modeled after Dog the Bounty Hunter and is played by Sylvester Stallone. The Director has a love interest, Maria, which is performed amazingly by historical footage of Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music.
The Director takes the sharks back to an Ocean Based Pen where he counsels them on their deviant ways and subjects them to monotonous routines of swimming in straight lines. The Director sees himself as a Shark Whisperer.
Small groups of protesters picket the Ocean Based Pen in zodiacs. They question the ethics of having an Ocean Based Pen without Tom Costner present. This subplot is dealt with when the Task Force comes to the rescue of a capsized zodiac, proving once and for all that hippies in small boats are inferior to men with enormous machines.
After many months of successful treatments, the sharks are released into the wild, in particular, the waters nearing third world countries. Little is mentioned whether the rehabilitation program is successful, and it is just assumed, from the lack of reporting or post-care follow-up, that everything is fine.
One day Rex Murphy and a television camera crew arrive at the Ocean Based Pen to do a special on shark rehabilitation.
The Director had planned to use this opportunity as a press conference. He was to announce that a treaty had been signed between sharks and humans.
News of the press conference was leaked. The BBC showed up. So did CNN and Al Jazeera. Anderson Cooper was wearing a cardigan. The Al Jazeera correspondent, Avi Lewis, could be seen talking furiously on a satellite phone in English. Nigel Wrench, of the BBC, was nowhere to be found; instead, they sent a football pundit, Paul Gascoigne.
The Director read the details of the treaty from a prepared statement. He stood before a backdrop draped in the soft tones of sandalwood and forest berry. Then, suddenly, a rogue shark, one supposedly in the process of rehabilitation, but clearly not, an imposter with an agenda, hurled himself out of the Ocean Based Pen in what can only be described as a suicide attack. The shark annihilated the Director in one crisp bite and subsequently destroyed himself when he detonated an air-tank in his stomach, an act surely seen as tragically ironic. The blast killed several Shark Rehabilitation Task Force employees and Rex Murphy. Obviously, the treaty was rejected.
This sets the stage for JAWS 13: All Bets are Off, staring Nicholas Cage as the new Director and Ben Stiller as “Patchy,” the half-human-half-shark leader of the Carcharhiniformes Resistance.
Kevin Griffiths
English 12
Midlake Secondary School
1. Write a brief summary of the movie JAWS that we watched in class Monday.
Summary
The Chief of Police discovered that sharks kill. He attempted to advise the Mayor and Local Business Owners but they would have none of it. “What about Tourism,” they said?
A girl who was torn to bits while drinking at a beach party is said to have “died” in a “boating accident.” The Chief of Police was skeptical. Then a small boy was devoured in daylight at a public beach. His mother walked down the beach calling her son. She found the raft he was on shredded and bloody. That part was pretty sad, I guess.
There was a tonne of doubt shown by the Town Committee even though experts were brought in to prove that a killer shark was on the loose. Slowly, fear spread. There was a scene on a beach that showed families scattering in all directions at the site of a giant fin in the water. It turned out to be a hoax. I thought that was hilarious.
Several local fishermen arrived with hopes of being heroes. Their methods were generally unsound and unsafe. However, they did catch a shark. There was much rejoicing. People felt safe and the beaches were reopened. The Mayor and the Local Business Owners were satisfied that the threat was over.
This was decent writing on the part of the screenwriters because the “real” killer shark had not been caught and was still out there lurking. One can only assume a police inquiry would have ensued because an innocent shark had been slaughtered.
The Chief of Police eventually blows up the killer shark in a long-drawn out scene involving most of Act Three. I have to say, it was pretty cool when he stuffed that air-tank into the sharks mouth and then detonated it with a well-aimed rifle shot. Unfortunately, one of the supporting characters was lost in the battle, sliding into the killer sharks’ mouth like a sardine shortly before the climax.
The movie ends with the Chief of Police a hero, but for most people, summer was ruined.
2. Write an outline for a sequel to JAWS in five hundred words or less.
Sequel
In JAWS 12: Nature Controlled, the Chief of Police has formed a Shark Rehabilitation Task Force. His new title is Director of Correctional Services. He tracks sharks with sonar devices and arrests them. He has a horde of Lieutenants and Generals that speed out from the mother boat, which is called Shark and Destroy and registered to Panama. The sharks are subdued by taser.
The character of the Director is modeled after Dog the Bounty Hunter and is played by Sylvester Stallone. The Director has a love interest, Maria, which is performed amazingly by historical footage of Julie Andrews from the Sound of Music.
The Director takes the sharks back to an Ocean Based Pen where he counsels them on their deviant ways and subjects them to monotonous routines of swimming in straight lines. The Director sees himself as a Shark Whisperer.
Small groups of protesters picket the Ocean Based Pen in zodiacs. They question the ethics of having an Ocean Based Pen without Tom Costner present. This subplot is dealt with when the Task Force comes to the rescue of a capsized zodiac, proving once and for all that hippies in small boats are inferior to men with enormous machines.
After many months of successful treatments, the sharks are released into the wild, in particular, the waters nearing third world countries. Little is mentioned whether the rehabilitation program is successful, and it is just assumed, from the lack of reporting or post-care follow-up, that everything is fine.
One day Rex Murphy and a television camera crew arrive at the Ocean Based Pen to do a special on shark rehabilitation.
The Director had planned to use this opportunity as a press conference. He was to announce that a treaty had been signed between sharks and humans.
News of the press conference was leaked. The BBC showed up. So did CNN and Al Jazeera. Anderson Cooper was wearing a cardigan. The Al Jazeera correspondent, Avi Lewis, could be seen talking furiously on a satellite phone in English. Nigel Wrench, of the BBC, was nowhere to be found; instead, they sent a football pundit, Paul Gascoigne.
The Director read the details of the treaty from a prepared statement. He stood before a backdrop draped in the soft tones of sandalwood and forest berry. Then, suddenly, a rogue shark, one supposedly in the process of rehabilitation, but clearly not, an imposter with an agenda, hurled himself out of the Ocean Based Pen in what can only be described as a suicide attack. The shark annihilated the Director in one crisp bite and subsequently destroyed himself when he detonated an air-tank in his stomach, an act surely seen as tragically ironic. The blast killed several Shark Rehabilitation Task Force employees and Rex Murphy. Obviously, the treaty was rejected.
This sets the stage for JAWS 13: All Bets are Off, staring Nicholas Cage as the new Director and Ben Stiller as “Patchy,” the half-human-half-shark leader of the Carcharhiniformes Resistance.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Wm. Farrant admits that he is a hockey fanatic. And he's okay with that.
I am a man. I like sports. And I have a lot of time on my hands recently. This evening B-Unit and I watched all four playoff hockey games. It’s probably not the last time we’ll do this. I have a complex ranking system on what teams I will cheer for. And this it:
1. Vancouver – This is the team I live closest to. Therefore, I support the local sports team.
2. Ottawa – This is the only other city I have lived in. They are my back-up local sports team. Also, no one likes the Senators in Ottawa; they all seem to like the Leafs or Canadians.
3. Chicago – My grandfather played for them in the 1930s- one game mind you, but it still counts.
4. Carolina – My childhood team was Hartford. It was all about the jerseys. Carolina’s don’t do it for me. That said, I still root for them. When they won the Stanley Cup I wore both my Whaler jerseys out in public.
5. Montreal – I like when they say “Le But.” It’s kind of cool to cheer for the Habs too.
6. Edmonton – Gretzky hangover thing- note: my spell-check recognizes the word “Gretzky.”
7. Calgary – I’ve tried to like them more but can’t. As far as Canada goes though, I like them more than Toronto.
8. Boston – I like talking with a Boston accent. And, of course, number four, Bobby Orr.
9. Detroit – My Dad’s favourite team. And see #30.
10. Rangers – My Grandfather and Grandmother were at the post-party Stanley Cup celebrations when they won it in 1940. Not much of a reason. But I don’t care.
11. Islanders – They had a good dynasty for a while and have an old arena.
12. Pittsburgh – A Lemieux hangover thing- note: my spell-check does not recognize the word “Lemieux.”
13. Washington – I remember watching that Islanders Capitals overtime game when I was young. And Rod Langway because he was born in Taiwan.
14. St. Louis – As a musician, you have to like their jerseys.
15. Buffalo – Because I’ve been there and it’s the ugliest city ever. Plus, they played in the Aud and their announcer guy really knows how to make a “goal call.”
16. Colorado – Think “Nordiques.”
17. Phoenix – And remember the Jets.
18. New Jersey – No reason. I just hate all the other teams more.
19. Philadelphia – Same as #18 but their uniforms are worse than New Jersey- personal opinion, obv.
20. Los Angeles – They had good uniforms once. And, well, it’s L.A.
21. Minnesota – Kind of close to Canada?
22. Dallas – See #21 for a historical connection.
23. San Jose – Sounds Mexican.
24. Anaheim – They made a movie out of this team. Though, I think Cowee Pearwee is alright.
25. Nashville, Columbus, Florida, Atlanta, Tampa – Hockey does not belong in these places.
30. Toronto – This team wouldn’t pay my Grandfather’s medical bills when he broke his nose in pre-season. A long story follows. They didn’t sign him. Bunch of jerks. A family hatred of the Leafs ensued, and continues. I would be willing to break the rule if they were in the final against the teams ranked below 20- it’s a Canada thing.
1. Vancouver – This is the team I live closest to. Therefore, I support the local sports team.
2. Ottawa – This is the only other city I have lived in. They are my back-up local sports team. Also, no one likes the Senators in Ottawa; they all seem to like the Leafs or Canadians.
3. Chicago – My grandfather played for them in the 1930s- one game mind you, but it still counts.
4. Carolina – My childhood team was Hartford. It was all about the jerseys. Carolina’s don’t do it for me. That said, I still root for them. When they won the Stanley Cup I wore both my Whaler jerseys out in public.
5. Montreal – I like when they say “Le But.” It’s kind of cool to cheer for the Habs too.
6. Edmonton – Gretzky hangover thing- note: my spell-check recognizes the word “Gretzky.”
7. Calgary – I’ve tried to like them more but can’t. As far as Canada goes though, I like them more than Toronto.
8. Boston – I like talking with a Boston accent. And, of course, number four, Bobby Orr.
9. Detroit – My Dad’s favourite team. And see #30.
10. Rangers – My Grandfather and Grandmother were at the post-party Stanley Cup celebrations when they won it in 1940. Not much of a reason. But I don’t care.
11. Islanders – They had a good dynasty for a while and have an old arena.
12. Pittsburgh – A Lemieux hangover thing- note: my spell-check does not recognize the word “Lemieux.”
13. Washington – I remember watching that Islanders Capitals overtime game when I was young. And Rod Langway because he was born in Taiwan.
14. St. Louis – As a musician, you have to like their jerseys.
15. Buffalo – Because I’ve been there and it’s the ugliest city ever. Plus, they played in the Aud and their announcer guy really knows how to make a “goal call.”
16. Colorado – Think “Nordiques.”
17. Phoenix – And remember the Jets.
18. New Jersey – No reason. I just hate all the other teams more.
19. Philadelphia – Same as #18 but their uniforms are worse than New Jersey- personal opinion, obv.
20. Los Angeles – They had good uniforms once. And, well, it’s L.A.
21. Minnesota – Kind of close to Canada?
22. Dallas – See #21 for a historical connection.
23. San Jose – Sounds Mexican.
24. Anaheim – They made a movie out of this team. Though, I think Cowee Pearwee is alright.
25. Nashville, Columbus, Florida, Atlanta, Tampa – Hockey does not belong in these places.
30. Toronto – This team wouldn’t pay my Grandfather’s medical bills when he broke his nose in pre-season. A long story follows. They didn’t sign him. Bunch of jerks. A family hatred of the Leafs ensued, and continues. I would be willing to break the rule if they were in the final against the teams ranked below 20- it’s a Canada thing.
Unsolicited Email 2: a response!
Kelly Williams April 14, 2010 04:54
Subject: Hi
I am kelly from North Carolina But prsently In Africa , I am 31, i am a mixed race ....That's African/American Birth on may 20 1978, My Zodiac is Capricorn i am 5'7 feet 185 inches in Height 145 kg 150 Ibs in Weight Brown in Eyes, Dark in Hair, im a Grad student i have not state working yet, Highly in Education, christianity single.
I am seeking for %100 LOVE I am Not here to Seek for a MAN That will be Playing Games Or Toying with My Heart...So Babe I am seeking for a man That is willing and Serious, Romantic, someone That I will Spend The Rest Of My life with, someone That will stand By me when I am Good and During My Times of Needs and Difficulties and That is Really Ready for A woman in His Life and Ready to Take Actions on What he wants and Needs in His Life But to seek for Love, A long term relationship and Possibly Marriage Hopefully If THINGS Works Out, a person to be with for the rest of my life, a person who is nice, Compassionate,Loyal,Faithful, caring, trustful, worthy and also down to earth, Honest, understanding ,simple loving ,above all sense of homour. i am fun if these person has these qualities.
I am English in Spoken my personal traits are smart, honest, modest, kind, loyal, elegant, gentle, cheerful, optimistic,romatic, I like these kinds of Music Classical,Jazz,Pop,New age , I usually read Love Novel and playing , i Like going out to Theater, cinema, concerts, disco,parks,meeting with a Good nature.friends,nature,travel, my Favorite cuisine African Italian and PortugueseI like travelling,Gym and Billiiard , i am respecful, independent person with a Good nature ... I'm very dynamic and easy going,I have a very calm personality.I love travelling and meeting People with different culture . I want to make friends and I really would love to find a lovly Soulmate, my Age of Group of a partner that doesnt matter to me okay
Bill Farrant April 14, 2010 11:32
Subject: re: Hi
Hi Kelly,
First off, you don’t have to re-introduce yourself; I know your name is Kelly. And okay, okay, I get it: age doesn't matter to you! But still, you didn't address any of my concerns from the previous email. Like, what about poor Clifford Wilcox? And what about the conflicting surnames? I said I was skeptical of online marriage, yet you've completely avoided that line of discussion.
It's great you're in Africa, Kelly. But, one would logically assume, if you're a grad student who is originally from the United States, that you could compose a proper sentence, and have a basic grasp of grammar. Like, come on: "I am English in Spoken?" I originally thought you'd said, "I am English in Spokane."
So, which is it, Kelly? An American in Africa or a Tosser in Washington State? That's a joke because I miss-read you, but that goes back to the whole "being able to write a sentence with proper grammar" thing. How can we expect to understand each other when you can’t even properly communicate?
And the line, "i have not state working yet, Highly in Education, christianity single" just doesn't make sense.
I'm beginning to think you're not who you say you are. I know I said to meet me at the pool hall. But that was what we call "sarcasm." I mean, Christ (Christianity single for you?), I didn't even state which pool hall!!!
Oh, and one more thing: you're profile picture is quite obviously taken from a magazine advertisement for food products- I can see where the page was folded and a recipe for "Pasta Bolognese." And your other picture is of a completely different person. Call me crazy, but I'm starting to think this is some sort of scam. I don't need my heart jerked around here!
I just don't think this is going to work between us- I hate being called “Babe” by the way.
I'm going to give this whole "online marriage" thing a pass. I enjoyed our time together, however brief it may have been, but I think it's for the best that we part ways, Kelly Williams/Richards.
All the best in your pursuit of online love!
Regards,
Bill
Subject: Hi
I am kelly from North Carolina But prsently In Africa , I am 31, i am a mixed race ....That's African/American Birth on may 20 1978, My Zodiac is Capricorn i am 5'7 feet 185 inches in Height 145 kg 150 Ibs in Weight Brown in Eyes, Dark in Hair, im a Grad student i have not state working yet, Highly in Education, christianity single.
I am seeking for %100 LOVE I am Not here to Seek for a MAN That will be Playing Games Or Toying with My Heart...So Babe I am seeking for a man That is willing and Serious, Romantic, someone That I will Spend The Rest Of My life with, someone That will stand By me when I am Good and During My Times of Needs and Difficulties and That is Really Ready for A woman in His Life and Ready to Take Actions on What he wants and Needs in His Life But to seek for Love, A long term relationship and Possibly Marriage Hopefully If THINGS Works Out, a person to be with for the rest of my life, a person who is nice, Compassionate,Loyal,Faithful, caring, trustful, worthy and also down to earth, Honest, understanding ,simple loving ,above all sense of homour. i am fun if these person has these qualities.
I am English in Spoken my personal traits are smart, honest, modest, kind, loyal, elegant, gentle, cheerful, optimistic,romatic, I like these kinds of Music Classical,Jazz,Pop,New age , I usually read Love Novel and playing , i Like going out to Theater, cinema, concerts, disco,parks,meeting with a Good nature.friends,nature,travel, my Favorite cuisine African Italian and PortugueseI like travelling,Gym and Billiiard , i am respecful, independent person with a Good nature ... I'm very dynamic and easy going,I have a very calm personality.I love travelling and meeting People with different culture . I want to make friends and I really would love to find a lovly Soulmate, my Age of Group of a partner that doesnt matter to me okay
Bill Farrant April 14, 2010 11:32
Subject: re: Hi
Hi Kelly,
First off, you don’t have to re-introduce yourself; I know your name is Kelly. And okay, okay, I get it: age doesn't matter to you! But still, you didn't address any of my concerns from the previous email. Like, what about poor Clifford Wilcox? And what about the conflicting surnames? I said I was skeptical of online marriage, yet you've completely avoided that line of discussion.
It's great you're in Africa, Kelly. But, one would logically assume, if you're a grad student who is originally from the United States, that you could compose a proper sentence, and have a basic grasp of grammar. Like, come on: "I am English in Spoken?" I originally thought you'd said, "I am English in Spokane."
So, which is it, Kelly? An American in Africa or a Tosser in Washington State? That's a joke because I miss-read you, but that goes back to the whole "being able to write a sentence with proper grammar" thing. How can we expect to understand each other when you can’t even properly communicate?
And the line, "i have not state working yet, Highly in Education, christianity single" just doesn't make sense.
I'm beginning to think you're not who you say you are. I know I said to meet me at the pool hall. But that was what we call "sarcasm." I mean, Christ (Christianity single for you?), I didn't even state which pool hall!!!
Oh, and one more thing: you're profile picture is quite obviously taken from a magazine advertisement for food products- I can see where the page was folded and a recipe for "Pasta Bolognese." And your other picture is of a completely different person. Call me crazy, but I'm starting to think this is some sort of scam. I don't need my heart jerked around here!
I just don't think this is going to work between us- I hate being called “Babe” by the way.
I'm going to give this whole "online marriage" thing a pass. I enjoyed our time together, however brief it may have been, but I think it's for the best that we part ways, Kelly Williams/Richards.
All the best in your pursuit of online love!
Regards,
Bill
Monday, April 12, 2010
Unsolicited Email
Kelly Williams April 12, 2010 at 12:21pm
Subject: Hi
I am quite fascinated by your profile. i am keen about knowing you. Well My name is kelly I am a new member to this web site......I am on this site to search for a real soulmate ,i noticed that online marriages are turning out to be successful and so i decided to give it a trial. Who Knows!!i saw your profile and it really intrested me.....i would like it if you could email me through my personal email address(kellyrichardxxx@yahoo.com so that we could have more private talk,chatting with you would be a great idea,then i can tell you really more about me and my family ,you can get me on this yahoo id kellyrichardxxx@yahoo.com on the messenger. hope to hear from you soon.
kelly
Bill Farrant April 12, 2010 at 2:18pm
Subject: re: Hi
Hi Kelly,
I think it’s great that you are fascinated by my profile and that you’re keen on knowing me. Seeing as my privacy settings are set to “friends only,” and that you are not currently my friend, you must have been blown away with all the intricate details of my life that are posted on facebook that you have no access to. I won’t deny that you’re probably attracted to me. I mean, who wouldn’t love my faceless white silhouette against a blue background!
That said, love can be hard. And I don’t doubt that you are searching for a real soul mate, though, when I look at your profile and it says you are currently in a relationship with Clifford Wilcox, I become a little wary. It’s kind of a warning sign to me. It’s human nature to be interested in people. I don’t doubt that. But what if Clifford, say, accidentally hacked your facebook account, or you left yourself logged in one day and he saw this email to me? What would he think? How would you explain yourself?
I’ll be honest with you, Kelly, I find it a little strange that your name is Kelly Williams, yet your contact information for yahoo is for Kelly Richard. Is this a maiden name? Have you previously been married? I won’t lie, I don’t like used goods. Not that I’m perfect by any stretch. But I’d prefer my soul mate “pure” if you catch my drift.
I wouldn’t put too much stock in online marriages, either. They can be just as faulty as normal marriages, if not more so. In the end, it’s just two people, and the fact that we’ve never met and you’re basically proposing to me on the first email is another sign that finding true love together might be a false hope. Is it possible there are other issues in your life that you are not dealing with? Possibly miserable in your relationship with Clifford? If so, it’s not unnatural, but seeking the comfort of other men via online marriage might not be the answer. Do you have family you can talk to? You do mention you have family. I’ve always found that a parent or a sibling is a good person to talk to when in a time of need, when you’re questioning the plight your life seems to have taken.
One more note, I think it’s probably unhealthy to treat online marriage as a trial. Marriage, in general, I’d think, is a commitment, and not something you try on for thirty days only to get a refund if you are unsatisfied with the product. Just saying, you know?
Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. Kelly Whateveryourlastnamereallyis.
Maybe we’ll run into each some day. You never know!
Regards,
Bill Farrant
Ps. I’ll be at the pool hall at eight. I’ll be the guy with the leather jacket on.
Subject: Hi
I am quite fascinated by your profile. i am keen about knowing you. Well My name is kelly I am a new member to this web site......I am on this site to search for a real soulmate ,i noticed that online marriages are turning out to be successful and so i decided to give it a trial. Who Knows!!i saw your profile and it really intrested me.....i would like it if you could email me through my personal email address(kellyrichardxxx@yahoo.com so that we could have more private talk,chatting with you would be a great idea,then i can tell you really more about me and my family ,you can get me on this yahoo id kellyrichardxxx@yahoo.com on the messenger. hope to hear from you soon.
kelly
Bill Farrant April 12, 2010 at 2:18pm
Subject: re: Hi
Hi Kelly,
I think it’s great that you are fascinated by my profile and that you’re keen on knowing me. Seeing as my privacy settings are set to “friends only,” and that you are not currently my friend, you must have been blown away with all the intricate details of my life that are posted on facebook that you have no access to. I won’t deny that you’re probably attracted to me. I mean, who wouldn’t love my faceless white silhouette against a blue background!
That said, love can be hard. And I don’t doubt that you are searching for a real soul mate, though, when I look at your profile and it says you are currently in a relationship with Clifford Wilcox, I become a little wary. It’s kind of a warning sign to me. It’s human nature to be interested in people. I don’t doubt that. But what if Clifford, say, accidentally hacked your facebook account, or you left yourself logged in one day and he saw this email to me? What would he think? How would you explain yourself?
I’ll be honest with you, Kelly, I find it a little strange that your name is Kelly Williams, yet your contact information for yahoo is for Kelly Richard. Is this a maiden name? Have you previously been married? I won’t lie, I don’t like used goods. Not that I’m perfect by any stretch. But I’d prefer my soul mate “pure” if you catch my drift.
I wouldn’t put too much stock in online marriages, either. They can be just as faulty as normal marriages, if not more so. In the end, it’s just two people, and the fact that we’ve never met and you’re basically proposing to me on the first email is another sign that finding true love together might be a false hope. Is it possible there are other issues in your life that you are not dealing with? Possibly miserable in your relationship with Clifford? If so, it’s not unnatural, but seeking the comfort of other men via online marriage might not be the answer. Do you have family you can talk to? You do mention you have family. I’ve always found that a parent or a sibling is a good person to talk to when in a time of need, when you’re questioning the plight your life seems to have taken.
One more note, I think it’s probably unhealthy to treat online marriage as a trial. Marriage, in general, I’d think, is a commitment, and not something you try on for thirty days only to get a refund if you are unsatisfied with the product. Just saying, you know?
Anyway, I hope everything works out for you. Kelly Whateveryourlastnamereallyis.
Maybe we’ll run into each some day. You never know!
Regards,
Bill Farrant
Ps. I’ll be at the pool hall at eight. I’ll be the guy with the leather jacket on.
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Exciting times
My Story "Grizzly Bill" has been long-listed for the Geist Postcard Story contest. Geist is a national literary magazine of reputable proportions. Stayed tuned for a link to the long-listed stories on Geist.com.
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